SAVE THE PHOCODONTS
Romeo can’t really be blamed for Ophelia’s death.

Senior English major on a Shakespeare final. (via minininny)

WELL THEY’RE NOT WRONG

——

How about this, though?

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[Editorial Note: This “theory” depends on believing the Romeo and Juliet and Hamlet take place contemporaneously. So, for the sake of argument, let’s all agree that the events of both plays occur in the Spring of 1517 (chosen because of Martin Luther’s 95 Theses, and the Reformational threads that run through Hamlet).]

See, in the Second Quarto and First Folio versions of Romeo and Juliet, a[n extremely minor] character appears with Romeo, Mercutio, and Benvolio at the Capulet’s Party (where, if you recall, Romeo meets Juliet for the first time).

Like Hamlet's Horatio, this Horatio is full of well-worded philosophical advice. He tells Romeo “And to sink in it should you burden love, too great oppression for a tender thing.”

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Fig. 1 - Second Quarto Printing

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Fig. 2 - First Folio Printing

[The American Shakespeare Center’s Education Blog discusses the likely “real” reasons for Horatio’s presence]

Let’s imagine that Horatio has travelled down from Wittenberg (about 540 miles) to Verona for his Spring Break. He hears about some guys who like to party (because, let’s be honest, besides getting stabbed, partying is Mercutio’s main thing). So, he ends up crashing the Capulet’s ball with them.

He is then on the sidelines as Romeo and Juliet fall in love, Tybalt kills Mercutio, Romeo kills Tybalt, Romeo gets banished, and both lovers are found dead in Juliet’s tomb.

This tragedy fresh in his mind, he returns to Wittenberg at the end of what has turned out to be a decidedly un-radical Spring Break and discovers that his bestie Prince Hamlet is leaving for Elsinore Castle because he’s just gotten news that his father, the King, is dead.

On the trip up (another ~375 miles), Horatio recounts the tragic romance he just witnessed in Verona. He advises (as he is wont to do) Hamlet not to mix love and revenge.

Hamlet takes Horatio’s advice to heart, breaking up with Ophelia so that he can focus is energy on discovering and punishing his father’s killer:

HAMLET
Ay, truly; for the power of beauty will sooner
transform honesty from what it is to a bawd than the
force of honesty can translate beauty into his
likeness: this was sometime a paradox, but now the
time gives it proof. I did love you once.

OPHELIA

Indeed, my lord, you made me believe so.

HAMLET

You should not have believed me; for virtue cannot
so inoculate our old stock but we shall relish of it: I loved you not.

Ophelia - burdened by the perceived loss of Hamlet’s love and his murder of her father - goes mad and drowns herself.

You see, if Romeo had waited literally a minute and thirty seconds longer (31 iambic pentametrical lines) - he, Juliet, Ophelia (and possibly the rest of the Hamlet characters) would have made it.

* With thanks to roguebelle.

(via thefeminineending)

Buncha fuckin nerds in this town.

(via moriartini)

The Hamratiophelia Conspiracy Theory ftw

(via zahnie)

THIS HAS PROBABLY BEEN DONE BEFORE BUT I WANT TO DISCUSS THIS:

A FREE! AU WHERE INSTEAD OF A SWIM CLUB THEY’RE IN AN A CAPELLA SINGERS CLUB AND HARU HAS THIS WEIRD THING FOR SOUND

NAGISA IS A TENOR I AND HARU IS TENOR II AND MAKOTO IS BASS BUT THEY NEED  BARITONE TO COMPLETE THE GROUP

THEN THEY MEET REI

WHO PLAYS ALTO SAX IN THE SCHOOL BAND

fenrispenris:

I feel you, on a spiritual level, Nagisa

thedisreputableblog:

really tho I would kill for more nonromantic soulmates

soulmate best friends who met as children and don’t remember life apart

soulmate siblings whose parents always worry if there’s something unhealthy about their relationship

mentor-student soulmates who never stop learning from each other

soulmates whose relationships are ignored by society and just that much more intimate for it

today-in-homestuck:

It’s been two years since…
[S] Caliborn: Enter. [7/28/12]

today-in-homestuck:

It’s been two years since…

[S] Caliborn: Enter. [7/28/12]

himteckerjam:

humanslothking:

poppypicklesticks:

humanslothking:

Effect of Feminism:Now in the UK, attempting to kiss someone and failing at the attempt, with the person backing off counts as sexual assault. 

Feminism: wanting to kill romance and passion for everyone else because no one wants to kiss them 

Soon, you’ll have to sign a 360 page document (with your card details inserted) as to even recieve a photon reflecting off their skin.

You heard it here folks: Feminism is evil because it declares you shouldnt put your filthy fucking hands or mouth on people without permission. Now imagine how humanslothking would react to a man trying to kiss him out of nowhere. Oh, right, it’d be right back to being assault huh?Somebody clue me in to how not wanting strange men putting their mouths or hands on me is “Killing romance and passion”?Shout out to the hilarious ITS CUZ FEMINISTS IS UNDESIRABLE!! dogwhistle, too.
Yeaaah the reason we tooootally dont want your hands or mouths put on us is because you totally wouldn’t put your hands or mouths on us and that makes me sad because just like in your twisted little mind the only thing that keeps me going is aesthetic/romantic validation from a bunch of fucking bland, entitled 20 year olds like yourself. Because all Feminists want is the love and adoration of misogynists and we’re sad because we’re definitely all heterosexual and too ugly to get it from you. ): Womp womp. Oh what a world, what a world.
Shit like this: Why your “Not all men!” horse shit can kiss my black ass. 

himteckerjam:

humanslothking:

poppypicklesticks:

humanslothking:

Effect of Feminism:

Now in the UK, attempting to kiss someone and failing at the attempt, with the person backing off counts as sexual assault. 

Feminism: wanting to kill romance and passion for everyone else because no one wants to kiss them 

Soon, you’ll have to sign a 360 page document (with your card details inserted) as to even recieve a photon reflecting off their skin.

You heard it here folks: Feminism is evil because it declares you shouldnt put your filthy fucking hands or mouth on people without permission. Now imagine how humanslothking would react to a man trying to kiss him out of nowhere. Oh, right, it’d be right back to being assault huh?

Somebody clue me in to how not wanting strange men putting their mouths or hands on me is “Killing romance and passion”?

Shout out to the hilarious ITS CUZ FEMINISTS IS UNDESIRABLE!! dogwhistle, too.

Yeaaah the reason we tooootally dont want your hands or mouths put on us is because you totally wouldn’t put your hands or mouths on us and that makes me sad because just like in your twisted little mind the only thing that keeps me going is aesthetic/romantic validation from a bunch of fucking bland, entitled 20 year olds like yourself. Because all Feminists want is the love and adoration of misogynists and we’re sad because we’re definitely all heterosexual and too ugly to get it from you. ): Womp womp. Oh what a world, what a world.

Shit like this: Why your “Not all men!” horse shit can kiss my black ass. 

11toritori:

ポケモンXYパロ

robinflight-y:

image

image

Mukuro is an infamous supersoldier for whom killing is a merely a part of everyday life. She never asked to be hopelessly head-over-heels for this literal embodiment of hope and puppy-dog cuteness and yet here we are.

cloudspanties:

jimsnolongeralive:

cosmostrekker:

katsplanet:

pizzaforpresident:

blackmormon:

dekutree:

OH MY GOD

I PEED A LITTLE

omfg

that SCARED ME SDFKJH

lja;lksdfskdjfk

I feel you bro. 

YES.